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Marzo 21, 2007
rcl
stands for revised common lectionary.
which will probably be the end of abigail as you know her.
i have also taken on certain ministerial responsibilities (checking up on my kids) that require(s) attending two holy communion services every sunday (I will have the liturgy memorized shortly; i am getting my fill of the body of christ-lemmetellya).
but strange things happen to me in church now. i am actually listening!
so i thought i would confess.
i have an idea that death is about movement away from me. my abuelito keeps telling me he is going to die. i told him to stop worrying about my faith and just get home to jesus...
but sometimes i tell myself someone is dead because i don't know what to do with their absence. i guess i'm just not afraid enough of death to avoid really pretending hard. the mourning is easier if i assume it will be final.
of course i have only done this with two people so far (i'm still young, you see).
and they both came back... and it has taken me two and half years to know what to do
enter rcl
i was wondering why i would want them to come back, why i would let them come back, why i wouldn't try harder to keep them, er... gone.
i am an idiot. that is why, that is the whole reason.
a complete *&$%ing numbskull.
most of you have heard the story about jesus being a sucker so i won't explain all that here. but i think i am closest to my call when i am at my most dumbest.
anyway, if you have been following the rcl, you know that last week was all about the prodigal son. and i realized
my friend who was lost has been found.
and i wished he was dead and i wanted it to be final but i kept my ear to the ground and my eye to the horizon and a figure finally moved a little closer than usual, the waves of heat obscured the vertical line on the horizon and i saw, as he moved closer, that he was on his knees the way ancient pilgrims approached a sacred place.
and i like a fool was hopinghopinghoping. like a drunkard, i was stumbling and slurring and misunderstood over and over again.
today is my birthday, of course, so i have annuals on my mind... three years from now we will be back to the week after the return of prodigal son and i will be back to singing happy birthday to myself (really quietly the way my abuelito likes to do--i was singing "they say its your birthday! nananananana!" alone, while i put away laundry last night and martin caught me... it was sort of funny, but altogether ridiculous and perhaps to be avoided in the future, when i am older and wiser.)
as i chalk up the lectionary passages the epiphanies come with punctuated equilibrium... like the good times, the births and deaths, the birthdays and holy days and bad days.
and i thought you should know, just so you know
i'm just saying is all.
help yourself | By crymytinyflood | 09:23 AM
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