« Diciembre 2006 | Main | Febrero 2007 »
Enero 01, 2007
you can call me
but i'm not sure if i am called
children and family minister
(that is what it says on the job description)
children and families minister
or
children's and families minister
either way i start the 15th of january at phinney ridge lutheran church, ELCA.
i think i just want the nouns to be the same and can't figure out how to make them...
family's
families
children's and family's
child and family
i think i may just call myself the children's minister... i really belong to them anyway. (hooray!)
Posted by crymytinyflood at 11:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
a little unfinished business
thought you might want to see what we do at the so-called postmodern mars hill graduate school.
i'm posting it because i know it is awkward but it is good for me to give in to my faults. unfinished is better than not started when it comes to a book review.
i know for a fact that at least one of you, dear readers, has a well edited blog... and so you will have to bear the burden of upholding the language this time. my apologies and utmost respect go out to you.
Continue reading "a little unfinished business"
Posted by crymytinyflood at 11:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
grade shmade
this is what is bad:
a paper good enough to turn in for a grade (all i really want is to pass)
is far from good enough to submit for publication (all i really want is to avoid embarassing myself).
and since i have to do the former but don't have to do the latter, i am not really ever going to publish anything i would stand behind 100%. but that was never the point, was it? you don't wait until you believe yourself to start writing. you don't wait until you believe yourself to finish a piece. some things are just true whether we believe in them or not. typos are true, grammatical errors are true, spliced commas (God bless them) are true. you really get a pretty accurate picture of how afraid someone is, how shy and ignorant and in need of grace someone is when they don't value their voice enough to at least word toward flow in an essay.
damnit.
you know exactly what i am talking about, don't just think to yourself that you should tell me i am being too hard on myself.
there will always be a part of me that thinks i can do better, or i should have done better.
all writing is an attempt to link the chain fence, tie the words together. but each sentence, each word can quickly turn into a failure. a 250 word essay assignment becomes a real test of courage.
what is the cure for perfectionism? one beer or two?
but the truth is that for all my courage, i didn't really pass my practicum class.
i graduated cum laude from undergrad and then with a 4.0 from my credential program despite moving around from school to school.
but i have not been promoted to my second practicum because i don't understand the weight of my words.
i get a pass, rather than a fail, for the class. but i'm not to take my second practicum until i figure out a way to understand that what i say matters.
i have to stop thinking that i am always talking shit if i want to finish this degree.
to perfect or not to perfect, that is the question.
why does each word function more like one of those pointy steak knives? in a perfect world they would strike like daggars and drama would reign... it would all be like for whom the bell tolls, we could use the formal and use the literal translations for the swears.
at least the drama feigns serious, which is better than the constant accidental comic relief i've been providing all semester.
...except for that one time dr. friesen cried (the jury is still out on whether or not it was my fault.)
there is a very thin line between taking myself too seriously (which assumes that i ought to be taken seriously) and not taking myself seriously enough (which assumes that no one else takes me seriously)
one minute i say something funny and the room explodes with the laughter of 75 overwrought seminarians, the next minute the professor is asking for a moment because my comment conjured up images of irrational violence against the Text.
how was i to know my comment would be taken so seriously? i was just confessing my confusion, i didn't expect anyone to enter in with me, and be so upset by what confuses me.
i guess i want to be taken seriously... i guess i want to be serious.
serious is a funky concept.
is it a face? a tone? a posture?
something that comes with age or experience? something behind the words that i can't control anyway? should i try to harness the ethereal serious, so it doesn't get out of control, just out of courtesy to others?
does lack of self-awareness make me (gasp) socially malfunctional?
[is malfunctional a word?]
when i think of the times i was supposed to be serious, they are times i just took a real gamble and said what i thought needed to be said--as if serious and important were the same thing. but i probably should have kept my mouth shut because usually what i thought really needed to be said came out sounding really funny. it can be quite comical when i get serious, i don't do it very well.
damn it.
its like the geico commercial: the lady describes a serious problem with serious face and tone... but then burt bacharach starts singing... and the song sounds kind of funny and serious but the words are so unexpected and yet so true... and that is why it is just so funny. so so so funny... i suggest you look it up on you tube...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ERRzKNtRAfg
Posted by crymytinyflood at 10:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack