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Abril 24, 2008

for emilefoggyheart

use the arrows to go to the song called sunny road. it is very helpful. the first two songs are OK but the others are, well, consider it free spiritual direction from someone who is certifiable... i mean, a certified spiritual director.

Posted by crymytinyflood at 02:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Abril 21, 2008

*

sometimes things just disappear and you can't do anything about it.

i wrote a little poem and thought you might like to see it.

but you probably won't.

here it goes:

the evergreen branch lets go the old leaf.
one by one the tiny knives fall like three
days and i hear you drop, in disbelief,
the fingers you wore so proudly--how we
read, hoping, beneath the shade of ennui.
one word in my hand (heartache) sharp and tight,
balanced on my desire for one more tree
in the forest of hope, one line of light
on arms that once pointed out to the night.
the tip of a finger floats across one
morning, like this. dry leaves tumble in spite
of the yearning, bleak breathing confession
all wound in the breeze that whistles beneath
a dagger, used once, returned to the sheath.


i think it has a few brilliant moments, but it is sort of a lot of words, too many for my taste, but those are the constraints.

one of my many grandmothers died.
i spent a sunday morning at the hospital then at her apartment then at breakfast where we ate together on the day after her husband died.
we stood around the altar of her hospital bed while her mouth slowly fell open. the rigor mortis swept up from somewhere under the bedclothes.
it was a good week: family around. looking through her things
breaking patterns of behavior that never did suit us well
flipping through photos of my mother's first marriage, to my father.
not i'm sort of lost, though. and alone. and i don't like it much.
but that is how it goes.
what would i say to her now?
the same thing i would say to you, love:
stop. go. stop. go. stay.
this way you break my heart.

my head is a little foggy; perhaps you can tell.

Posted by crymytinyflood at 03:24 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack