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30 de Junio 2008
God tends
for vacation bible school we wore tee shirts that said "...on earth as it is in heaven." we went to the transfer station and we went to the forest and we went to the museum and we played some games and nobody won and nobody lost and we only cried on the first day and we sang about hippos and each other and it was very good, just like the bible says.
and what did we start with: toe hoo wah boe hoo.
which is what i always start with and we ended with the saddest day because it had to end and we had to rest like we always do.
sometimes when things go really well i feel very small.
so we went to the beach. and slipped slurpees and then i went home and my dog was there and he was so happy to see me, just like you used to be. so happy.
when you see something really beautiful you should say something because why not? you should definitely say it. that is one thing i am learning this summer... say it out loud and maybe point if you have a free hand. kneel down and with confidence just say it carefully, slowly or maybe your eyes squinting in the brightness of it whisper it so it lands gently because she doesn't know you are thinking it. she doesn't even know you are capable of thinking it but she might need you to be brave enough...
i have this thing i think about love. i think about love.
and i can't stop doing it
here is one reason why i am not the wife i wanted to be:
everyday dinner time comes and all i really want to do is eat a carrot or something stupid like that.
so if you think of it, send snats that is all we can handle right now.
Posted by crymytinyflood at 5:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
4 de Junio 2008
vespers
remember this? i wrote it for vespers and then cried all the way through it...
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the families.
For the nose wipers
The shoe tiers, diaper changers
Handholders and shoulders to sleep on.
Thank you for the
Booger faces and finger paintings
Thank you for the people who cry whenever they bleed and hug us around our middles
Thank you for the favorite colors and sometimes thank you for wedding vows
For times we have to argue
With the people we love most and the holy conflict that our families endure
Help us to pass on what we know of you and to hold on and love what we know of each other
In the name of the father, son and holy spirit.
but today the prayer would sound more like this:
sometimes i get so fucking angry.
did you ever account for that?
because i'm not willing to punch people in the face today, which is why i can at least type about it. but at any moment i may explode into a million insults.
they call me volatile.
perhaps it comes from my love for conjunctions... i love conjunctions and commas. with the proper grammar it is possible to get it all out there, just keep going, listing it all off: grievances, desire, hateful cliches strung tenuously together ( imagine sausages in the barbarian butcher windows).
Posted by crymytinyflood at 9:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack