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18 de Agosto 2008
be respectful
i recently registered for the third consecutive year at one institution. i haven't transferred in transcripts or planned an escape. i haven't applied to another school, i haven't even snubbed the second annual flag football game--even though by this point, had i stuck to the original plan to get an MACS, i shoulda been long gone. this is a real breakthrough for me, given that the last time i went to the same school for three years in a row was 3,4,5 grade.
to commemorate my achievement(s?) i've transcribed the following for your perusal. let's just say it came just in time to remind me why i keep doing what i do and how i couldn't really stop now, even if i tried.
Sent: Sunday, August 17, 2008 8:47 PM
Subject: about the paper
hi J, hope the vakay went well.
i am a little nervous about the paper. i'm close to finished but would like to ask you a few questions just to make sure i actually did the assignment and not some other sort of random research paper. i'm hoping i can describe to you a sort of outline of what i did and you can point to holes i should fill in or tell me it is probably an just a fine paper and i should get over my grade... or both.
i have monday and tuesday (afternoons) open.
thanks,
A
Date: Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:32:00 -0700
Subject: RE: about the paper
Can you send me the outline via e-mail? Or, if you want to meet face to face, will it be okay to leave it until Tuesday right after lunch? Let me know. J
Sent: Monday, August 18, 2008 12:25 PM
Subject: RE: about the paper
this is an overview of each section of the essay:
Why Romans is special (to the Canon)
Paul's motivation
Jews vs. ethne
Paul's departure from the Hellenistic letter structure
Difficulty with 1:16-25
16-25 as foundational
Paul's thesis: new relationship to the law through Christ
Judaism's anti-idolatry stance
Paul's rhetorical strategy in 16-25
Paul's (post)modern readership's bias
the verses, in turn
16More on Paul's motivation, why he is unashamed
17God is God
ek pisteos eis pistin
this may set the tone for the rest of the book of Romans
Paul addresses Judaism again
18wrath and righteousness
19,20 without excuse
21,22, 23 Paul addresses pagan hearts
24, 25 Paul addresses homosexuality
ethics and strategy throughout 16-25
Why Romans is special (to us)
relevance of Romans
in a previous email i asked you to find the holes but now i'm reflecting and i'm concerned because i sat down to write the paper and felt really inadequate.
maybe it wouldn't be possible to do the assignment wrong because exegesis is kind of a random research paper project. Maybe it would be harder for me to do not do the assignment than i thought--you gave rather broad perameters.
but i hope you can help with the more personal side of the problem:
it all started because i didn't know how much to rely on the original language, given my lack of skill there. i ended up reliant on commentaries and making several important leaps on intuition. (which, i know can lead to trouble) for example: i defended the idea that the gospel was "news" because it seemed important as i was writing, then reread Johnson only to find that he thought the same thing and i had simply missed it before. and while it seems that Johnson and i are probably ok to assume that the gospel is news, what if i made a serious error on another point? what if in the context of all these commentaries, my voice is just the voice of another whiny, ignorant seminarian repeating all the same mistakes?
in a way i'm reinventing the wheel when i don't rely on commentaries and not trusting the commentaries when i do rely on them. Moreover, the more i read, the more difficult it is to imagine that i have anything to contribute to the conversation.
Also, i'm concerned that each paragraph might be hiding something that, further down the road, would lead to a terrifying heresy. i mean, i didn't write anything really insane but i have a tendency to try to say too much, without proper defense or clarity--and that is something that could affect my grade and/or career, if i can't get it under control.
its like a catch 22: either i'm not contributing because i'm inadequate or i'm not contributing because i'm unintelligible. if the assignment was to exegete my experiences, i could do that. Maybe that is what i have learned in two year of mhgs. but when it comes to Romans i don't know where i fit in the conversation. i feel like exegesis is an invitation to a really important dinner party, but on the way through the door, they tell you not to say anything stupid, which just makes me more nervous.
i know you're a docter; are there any pills i can pop for this? good grief.
so that is the rant.
i could come tuesday after lunch to chat, unless you think i'm just overreacting.
A.
[THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD:]
Abigail,
I doubt if you can do the assignment entirely wrong. Your analogy about being invited to an important dinner party is a good one. However, when you get to the door, they only ask you to be respectful of others' opinions when you come into the room. And at the end of the party they are asking you to summarize where you think you fit into the conversation. So you will inevitably use the opinions of others (only the modern period thinks originality is a bonus), and anyway I do not expect unique contributions to the discussion about Romans 1 from MDiv students. Just be coherent and document well.
Your nervousness about using Greek is understandable, but the point of the program here at MHGS is to be able to use the commentaries/resources intelligently, not to work in the original text with publishable results.
I agree this is not a typical MHGS assignment, but it is because there is a longer, broader conversation about Romans than about Freud. And it is possible to produce heresy, but it is not the unforgivable sin.
Can you give me a one or two sentence summary of what Paul says in Romans 1:16-25 that is important for anyone these days? The outline looks fine ... but I don't know what your thesis is.
As far as meeting tomorrow, I can come in. It is really your call whether the conversation is necessary. There are no pills. Sorry. But don't put such high expectations on yourself that you end up a basket case. It really isn't worth it.
Let me know what you want me to do.
J.
end of transmission
and by way of footnote i would like to add that one time i made an appointment with this prof and the good dr responded with an email, all it said was "it is written."
just thought you should know.
[i wish there were a more concise answer to the question, "how is school?" but there isn't. so here is how it really is: high drama, high expectations, and lots of email to put the problem into perspective. it is not a rhythm we can maintain for long but it has been ok for the past three year and it will have to do for the next three, whee.]
and now i'm off to walk the dog before it rains again.
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16 de Agosto 2008
i dare you
search youtube for
tight bro's [sic] from way back when
and put your nose in the corner.
please note the use of the maracas at the end of the song.
thank you.
Posted by crymytinyflood at 4:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
14 de Agosto 2008
with unflinching confidence
a good friend came into the chocolati during my office hours,
she read through a paper over which i had an anxiety attack
after i turned it in
on my way the beach
where i built two sandcastles and dug one trench
from our blanket to the ocean
with my nephew, who still answers to his
nickname: Mocos
she told me to
show up to the page with unflinching confidence
and get it all down.
then, she ate two truffles and, left.
and somehow she has managed to silence the motherfuckingverballyabusive editors in my head and in my heart and i thought i should send this news out into the abyss. because i wonder what it looks like in the rss feed.
and now it is back to the nestle-aland.
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